You Don’t Know What to Do Next

Feeling like you're caught between "I want to" but also like "I can't"

Jun 22, 2025

Good. That Means You’re Finally Listening.

Not to the noise.
Not to your to-do list.
But to your system. Your body. Your truth.

Most people try to change from the outside in.
They chase results—health, performance, mindset—but ignore the state they’re making those changes from.

That’s why it doesn’t stick.

You’re trying to commit from chaos.
Trying to plan from panic.
Trying to perform from pressure.

This is where the Self-Leadership Compass comes in.
It gives you orientation.
It’s for integrity.
Moment by moment.

Because real change doesn’t happen when you push harder.

It happens when you pause, drop in, and lead from Presence—not pattern.

When You're Stuck, It's Not a Problem, It's a Pattern

You know that space.
Too tired to do the thing. Too wired to rest.
You’re scrolling. You’re spiraling. You’re halfway out of your own life.

And underneath all of it is that subtle lie:

“You should already have this figured out.”

So you brace.
You push.
You try to power through.

But the more force you use, the more you disconnect.
The truth is… your system’s not broken.
It’s just protecting something.

This is your chance to ask the only question that matters:

“What’s actually here right now?”

Not what should be here. Not what your training tells you.
But what’s actually alive in you.

That’s the shift.
That’s when self-leadership begins.

The Self-Leadership Compass

This is your map.
Not to force direction—but to find it.

At the center is Presence: the space you return to when you stop trying to be anything else. From there, you move based on what the moment calls for:

North / Commitment: Ownership. Forward movement.
South / Contentment: Regulation. Letting go.
East / Clarity: Seeing clearly without distortion.
West / Compassion: Feeling fully without collapse.

Each direction is accessed through a gateway and confirmed by a felt signal:

🧭 Primary Axes of the Compass

The Compass moves across two core axes:

Vertical Axis → State Check (Readiness to Act):

This is the “am I ready” axis. It’s your alignment check for what you need to move.

North (Commitment): Doing / Responsibility / Action
South (Contentment): Being / Relief / Regulation

Horizontal Axis → Direction of Movement:

This is the “what to do” axis. It’s your forward motion once you’re present and aligned.

East (Clarity): Seeing what’s true
West (Compassion): Feeling what’s real

Here’s how the Compass looks when mapped out:

Every Pattern Is a Map

Every time you're stuck, it's not random. It's a map in disguise:

When you're grasping for control, what you need is clarity. That brings confidence.
When you're chasing approval, you're disconnected from compassion. That reconnects you.
When you're seeking security, the move is commitment. That builds capability.
When you're avoiding discomfort, what you need is contentment. That returns you to worth.

Presence is the path. Validation is the signal you've returned.

Let’s break down the formula behind real movement:

The Loop That Keeps You Stuck

When I’m triggered, I fall into this loop:

“If I’m not [Personal Myth], I don’t matter → so I [Sabotage Pattern] → to earn worth by [False Contribution].”

Instead, I’m choosing this path:

“I contribute by [True Contribution], and today I’ll prove it by [Reset Practice].”

Client Avatar Examples

Resentment Programming / Ruling Type

“If I’m not in control, I don’t matter → so I over-plan and restrict → to earn worth by being ‘on it’ or impressive.”

Instead: “I contribute by creating order with flexibility, and today I’ll live it by eating lunch slowly without tracking and still honoring my hunger.”

Comfort Zone Programming / Getting Type

“If life isn’t easy, I’m failing → so I avoid structure and self-soothe → to earn worth by staying in control of how I feel.”

Instead: “I contribute by facing what’s hard instead of avoiding it, and today I’ll prove it by eating a meal I prepared instead of ordering out.”

Guilt Programming / Avoiding Type

“If I’m not liked, I don’t matter → so I don’t eat all day → to earn worth by looking skinny—even though I overeat junk food at night.”

Instead: “I contribute by nourishing myself with consistency, and today I’ll prove it by eating a Greek yogurt for breakfast.”

I touched on this concept and even shared a quick little assessment in a previous article.

3-Second Compass Reset

Use this when emotion spikes or clarity fades:

Pause (Courage)
Interrupt the compulsion. Breathe. Let stillness rise.

That check-in starts with a single breath into the chest. That’s it. Just a quick boop back into your heart. Not a big meditation. Just a felt pause. A coming home.

Ask (Willingness & Interest)
"What’s happening inside me right now?"
"Where am I closed?"
"Which direction needs to open?"
Orient (Choose Your Direction)
- If you feel spinning, unfocused, or mentally cloudy → Choose Clarity
- If you feel numb, disconnected, or emotionally flat → Choose Compassion
- If you feel tight, braced, or internally bracing → Choose Contentment
- If you feel adrift, aimless, hesitant, or uncertain → Choose Commitment

Then take one step. Small, clear, true, in that direction.

Presence is the Place, the Compass is the Path

This isn’t a gimmick. It’s not a self-help trick.
It’s a return to authorship.

You don’t need to fix yourself. You need to orient.
You don’t need to prove your worth. You need to move from it.
That’s transformation in motion.

Presence first. Then courage. Then movement.
Every time.

This isn’t soft. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

To stop mid-trigger. To stand still while everything in you wants to react. To face the myth you’ve been living out—and not run.

To feel it, name it, and still choose the higher move.

That’s self-leadership.

And that’s what the Compass is for.

Not to help you escape…

To help you lead with precision, under pressure.

Presence is the place. Power comes next.